After he gulped down that cheap wine, that man cried. He cried, wiped his tears and let out a sob. He cried because he regreted his act. His lips trembled asking God's forgiveness. "I repent, my God, I repent. I promise I will not repeat it again. I ask Your forgiveness." But, just a second after he ended his request, he swallowed another gulp of wine. Then he cried as before asking God's forgiveness."This is the last one, O my God. Please forgive me. I repent. I promise that I will walk on Your path."
His weakness was so strong in controlling himself. Every time he was aware of his mistake, his weakness made him did the same mistake. This happened to an old man, Shaikh Mabruk, who never gave up repenting but was always defeated by his weakness.
"Sheikh", that what people called him to ridicule his behavior. He was 60 years old, but his physical condition showed an age of more than 100 years old. Old and aged. He was found in a street when he was still a baby wrapped in a piece of cloth. The orphanage was the place where he was raised. Then he moved to the juvenile institution later in his childhood. He had done most kind of crimes . Jail was not a strange place for him that he went in and out of it so often.
That was the life of Sheikh Mabruk who ended as a keeper of a cemetary. He ate, drank, and slept with all the dead bodies in the graves. During the day, he was a good and nice old man. But, when the night arrived, he became a cadavers' seller to those medical students who needed them. He sold them with a just enough price to buy a cheap wine to forget his nightmare and miserable life.
Mabruk was a criminal who was different from others. He was a criminal who deserved a pity from us. He always cried for his sins and mistakes that he felt he could not avoid. He was ashamed of himself. His face always looked humble and sad. He felt his heart told him that a person like him does not deserve the warm of the sun, the fresh of the air, and all the good and lawful food. He felt no desire to commit a sin if there wasn't an urge to do it. He tried to pull himself out of his bad habits. He tried so hard to defeat his dark side, but he was usually the one who was always defeated.
Then, Mabruk cried again and sobbed as a despised and neglected person in the society. He tried to forget all bad things that happened in his life with each drop in each bottle of wine. The more he drank, the more he felt he was despised by everyone. Mabruk always felt that God always set His sights on him. He didn't know where this feeling came from. He despised himself. It's like a croach that fells into a bottle of glue. The more it tries to loose itself from it, the more it is drowned in it.
But Mabruk convinced that losing hope could not save him from his problem. That's why Mabruk felt that no matter how big and how many his mistakes and sins are, God's forgiveness will always be abundant. God doesn't need our good deeds and doesn't lose anything for our misconduct. He is The King of all worlds. He is the Greatest having abundant of mercy. God always gives and never asks help from anybody. All need Him. All are poor in front of Him. This feeling made Mabruk never stop crying and never stop to wait the door. Almost everyone knew his life. Some ridiculed him, but many felt pity for his fate.
There were a few people who came to Mabruk to ask him to pray for them. He answered their request with tears, "Shaikh Mabruk prays for you?! Oh, don't you know that I am not a 'Sheikh' and not a 'Mabruk' the blessed" Then he cried and sobbed again. His hand trembling pulled out a bottle of wine from his pocket and drank it. With tears flowing from his eyes, he ran into the dark alley in the cemetery, and asked God's forgiveness.
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To be continued
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